The worst Doctor Who musical numbers

Let's get on with it, hmm?



Who is Doctor Who - Frazer Hines

I wonder if you can even get through the opening guitar bit without crying tears of blood. Imagine you got a deaf sheep that spasms a lot and likes to eat guitar strings. Then imagine you got a flute player who forgets how to play any tune except a vague rendition of the Peppa Pig theme.  If you can, that's basically the opening of this song. Then it's all topped off with a very off-putting scratchy guitar strumming and Frazer Hines sounding very like a little dwarf who sits a-top a Stool in the forest singing a little tune to pass the time while trying to forget his lonely and often boring life.

Doctor in Distress - a group of e list singers, Bucks Fizz, The Moody Blues, Hans Zimmer, and Nick Courtney and Anthony Ainley, and of course, Colin Baker and Nicola Bryant

Doctor Who was on hiatus, and many were distraught. Of course, it did come back, and fantastically, might I add, but this, this is just Grade-A crap. Nicola Bryant can't sing, neither can Colin Baker, and Anthony Ainley and The Brig get spoken cameos. And even the so called "Great singers" they get aren't good. Their vocal talent adds up to the vocal talent of a brick. To be honest, they should have hired a brick. Would've cost them half the money.

I'm Going To Spend My Christmas With A Dalek- The Go-Go's

No, not the successful Go-Go's. No, rather the Go-Go's who never had a hit single. It's not that they're crap, it's that they're dreadful. It's as if whoever wrote the song was given this description of a Dalek

"Right, so, you're going to write song about robots what are popular now, son. And when you're done, lock up Darlin'?"


The Dalek used in this is heavily out of Character. How out of character, you ask? It says, rather feebly:
                                                    "I Love You"

Also the Go-Go's sound pretty awful, and this was their only single ever.

Doctorin' The Tardis - KLF/The Timelords

This one is a good 'un in terms of crap. All we get from this is a list of the most well-known bits of the show, ie The Doctor, Daleks and Tardis. Then it's just the Doctor Who theme and a Dalek doing a Harry Enfield impression.

Finally, a somewhat ok one

Who is The Doctor- Jon Pertwee

The only similarity between this and the others is the fact that it's title is a couple of words off of Frazer Hines. A spoken , somewhat epic, song, Pertwee makes it absolutely fantastic.